when i can't see

i didn't write this, but i wanted to post it anyway. it was in the March 2007 TMI Newsletter...

This poem was written by Dan Bender during the middle of the night after he learned of the Vision which Tecate Mission International (website) will be pursuing in the next five years.

The road I've traveled has passed through heartache and sorrow--
But I'll surrender these and more to Your grace,
And I'll steadily forge ahead even when I can't see.

My journey today may be easy or burdensome--
But I'll sacrifice my creature comforts and personal gain,
And I'll walk at a steady pace even when I can't see.

This path to the future grows increasingly brighter--
Notwithstanding numerous setbacks and delays,
So I'll chase the vision that's been written on my heart
even when I can't see.

Tomorrow is unknown, but with the faith that's been given--
I'll march ahead to fulfill Your plan and purpose,
For my Father knows what's best...
even when I can't see.

Sovereignty

Sovereignty

unexpected changes
plans gone awry
why do these things happen?
who changes things?

plans run their perfect course
providence knows best
unexpected changes
Heaven's favorite test

--
I wrote that poem several years ago.
But I wanted to share it with you.

I wrote it on October 2nd, 2001. I was on a plane, heading home from Israel: the Land of the Bible. I had arrived there on September 2nd, 2001 planning, expecting and hoping to spend an entire semester there--traveling, studying, learning, touring, exploring, growing...enjoying the Land of the Bible...the Land of Israel. But 9 days after we arrived was September 11th, 2001--a tragedy of grand proportions. And soon afterward we were told that we would have to leave: something unexpected, something I did not plan, something I did not want. Plans seemed to have gone awry.

But God had it all planned out. In His book had been written every one of my days, even before they happened (Psalm 139:16). This was no surprise to Him. This was plans running their perfect course. As I was writing this poem I was trying to see it that way. I knew it was His perfect plan. Yet I still wanted to be in the Land of the Bible. What a wonderful place it is! To be able to travel to a specific geographic site, open up your Bible and read about what happened there. You can read about hills or valleys or rivers that were climbed or drank out of, or where battles took place, and you look up, and there it is! God's Word is true! How awesome it was to see these places with my own eyes! I loved it. I still remember it and wish I could go again.

Yet, God allowed me one month there. That was His plan. It wasn't mine. But I must learn that He is sovereign and I am not. And that's a good thing!

affluent

don't know exactly when i wrote this one. the file date says "date modified 6/8/2001"...

affluent, I wish I was
with words to express my heart
the feelings I feel
the thoughts I think

so much time passed
just a few days gone by
so many events
so many happenings
merely a memory ago

new friends, found a year ago
seem so old, as if friends for life.
new possessions, acquired recently
so soon become a part of me.

what have I learned?
what is it worth?
so much new knowledge augments my mind
but do I apply it after such a long time?

odds and ends of cryptic events
now seen in a fuller light.
pieces of my puzzle,
God prudently assembles.

it's all a blur,
nothing seems clear.
but life-changing memories have shown,
God makes all things beautiful, in His time.

I remember that I wrote it after one year in college. Ah, yes, I'm remembering it now. It was after my sophomore year. I can picture my dorm room. Almost completely emptied out. I lived in an apartment-like dorm with 4 other guys, most of whom had already left after the school year. I was very nostalgic...sitting in the room thinking about the past year...i could recall so easily the day i moved in and the first few weeks getting to know everyone. yet at the same time i could recall so many many memories from throughout the year that made it seem like such a long time. isn't it funny how time can seem so long, yet so short?

at the end of it all you can look back and see how God worked through it all, worked every part to fit together, to prudently fit them together, and to be true to His promise that He will work all things together to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28).

old poem

i was reading through old journals...its good to see how God directs your life. I love looking back in my journals to see and remember what God has taught me. as i was reading through i found this poem...sometimes i can write...but not whenever i want to. when i attempt poetry i come up with stuff like this:

[7/27/03 3:39pm]

The way the World was meant to be
Is not the World that I can see

Well, that was a good first two lines but I can't think of how to continue it.

I stumble and I fall
Sometimes it's hard to see
That You're there through it all
That's not the way its supposed to be.

I feel so helpless even though
I think I'm striving toward the goal
It seems I never make progress
Is this the way its supposed to be?

So many problems I confess
Am I really doing my best?
I wish I was perfect
Sometimes I can't wait
But this is where You put me
This is where I need to be
This is where I'm supposed to be

When will I be free
From this sin entangling me?
The way has already been made
Jesus Christ, for your sins, has paid
Just make sure that your life
has at His feet been laid
This is the way life is supposed to be.

May Your forgiveness I ever remember
May it be in my heart a burning ember.
May it continually burn white hot
Controlling and keeping my every thought
This is the way life is supposed to be.

Jesus Christ hung from a tree
He rose again to set me free
Now He lives in eternity
Building there a place for me
In His presence I will be
Giving Him all the glory
This is the way life is supposed to be!

trust...growth needed

How many times will it take
until I know and am confident
that Jehovah Jireh isn't simply words
but a name, an explanation of character
of essence, of an attribute

He provides. without fail.
He comforts those who are His.
But I do not trust
I am slow to rest
in the Truth.

actions or words

actions may speak louder than words
but unexplained actions are often
too vague to communicate meaning
both are needed to express ones heart

the gospel of Christ may be lived by your life
but without words to explain
those who see will come no further than wonder
of what is being said

use actions. love, forgive, rebuke, direct
but if your actions are only
"to show God's love"
and your words do not clarify

i fear your actions will be lost
in wonder and thought and need
of people who do not understand
of people who look but will never see

because though you may've planted a seed
the seed was not given the water it needs
the water of the Word of God
which is the only power of salvation

echad

always there when i need
why do i not more often come?
always ready to listen
wherever i may be

what is my desire?
can any other reach?
no one else fulfills
empty are the claims
that fill my mind and heart
regarding these other things

so much do i seek after
none of which has value
they crumble as sand figures
as i reach for them and grip
and through my fingers
onto the floor
these sand idols fall

always i need to focus
on the Rock the LORD of all

like a mirage in the distance
always just out of reach
and when i come i find
not more than empty road
yet another up ahead
and off again i pursue

One will satisfy
One will fulfill
One is Light Itself
and not simply illusion

One is enough
One will suffice
containing beauty in Itself
and not in vain or vice

One fills all desire
One calls me to Himself
"come to Me all who are weary
and heavy-laden, and
I will give you rest."

One is the bread that fills
One is the water that satiates
One has love which never fails
One
and only One

concern yourself firstly with Him
and all else will come
...in His time